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30_degree
NewRocker
Posted: 12/21/2006 12:59:00 AM

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RE: MY BOYFRIEND IS JOBLESS
from Woman's Day...'Ask the Experts' column...

Question:

My boyfriend lost his job..what should I do?

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 months now and things were going really good, and then he recently got laid off from his job. Now, I am not the type of girl that goes out with a guy for “what he can do for me" and get all big on materialistic things, but he's been talking about money a lot and, that makes me uncomfortable. Like for instance, he passed his road test yesterday and I was so happy for him so I said, I'm going to take you out to celebrate, and he says “just give me $35 instead. I'm cutting you a deal because if we went out to eat then you would have spent more”. Like some times I know he's joking but it still feels like there is some truth to all the money jokes that he keeps making.

Like that's one thing that I can say that when he was working, he would always pay for everything, but now that he can't, I feel bad because I know he would if he could but now, I'm going to have to pay for everything and to tell you the truth I can't afford it! He worked a full time job, where I work a small part-time job, where I only work 3 days a week, and barely make enough to cover my bills, so what are we going to do in the mean time while he's out of work?

I know it may sound very medieval, but I feel like it's a man's job to take out his girl. I kind of already feel like "the man" in this relationship because I am the one that ALWAYS has to pick him up and drive everywhere whenever we do go out.

How can I talk to him about such a sensitive topic? How do I make him stop joking about me paying for everything and giving him money? How do I let him know it bothers me? Should I help him find a job or would that be out of place/line?

How do I show him I care and want to support him (emotionally) during this hard time? How can I deal with this situation, without feeling like I am carrying him and avoid building resentment toward him for having to pay for everything?

Help!


How would you advise this woman?


omo_ketu
NewRocker
Posted: 12/21/2006 3:36:00 AM

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RE: MY BOYFRIEND IS JOBLESS
I think you should shut your moaning and keeping supporting your guy.

It hard enough he is jobless.

You have got to realise the world is not a straight line even in a relationship.

It is a man job to support his girl, thats an olden days saying

It is both two partners in a relation responsibility to support each other.

Yeah he is cheeky for demanding or cracking jokes about money but you have got to realise that if you were in his shoe you would do the same.

All he needs is your support and help you can give and force his asss to look for a job.

yooto
NewRocker
Posted: 12/21/2006 4:06:00 AM

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RE: MY BOYFRIEND IS JOBLESS
since he has been working, just try to help and suport him, don't run away from him. I guess he need u more now.

30_degree
NewRocker
Posted: 12/21/2006 4:41:00 AM

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RE: MY BOYFRIEND IS JOBLESS
Women do not support men for long, may be one or two months before you start getting your machismo grilled. A man can support a woman for 50 yrs without complaining but a woman can hardly do same for 1 yr. Is it nature or feminine meaness?
I am sure d way Iyabo spends my fortune now will not be the same way i'll spend hers if she was the rich partner, love or no love.

nky4stars
NewRocker
Posted: 12/21/2006 12:12:00 PM

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RE: MY BOYFRIEND IS JOBLESS
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

could this be true????????????????????? thinking thinking thinking thinking

iyabo
NewRocker
Posted: 12/21/2006 12:31:00 PM

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RE: MY BOYFRIEND IS JOBLESS
it takes two to tango
as long he is actively seeking work, I dont see why they shouldnt learn to manage what she has got.
its all about priorities.

Cut your coat according to your cloth.

Honey if anything happened to you as fas as i am concerned what's mine is yours.

2 people become 1

30_degree
NewRocker
Posted: 12/21/2006 2:13:00 PM

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RE: MY BOYFRIEND IS JOBLESS
@Iyabo, prove it? small quarell u wan run with my baby, how am i supposed to believe your words. By the way, i just had a 25 carat gold earrings delivered to your bathroom this evening . 30 is a cheerful giver.

xhuckkx
NewRocker
Posted: 12/22/2006 3:57:00 AM

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RE: MY BOYFRIEND IS JOBLESS
al of una don talk true...but people are different. ask any body today if they would die for you of cos he or she would say yes sir or ma...but when the real thing comes we go begin hear story dis story that.

me i have learnt to take things as they come (exp humans) with little influnce or persuation.

IT HAPPENED TO ME (ITS STILL ON)
I TOLD MY CHICS I LOST SO MUCH DOUGH AND MY CONTRACTORS&EFCC FROZE MY ACs & LOCKED ME UP (I NIGHT) WITH THE HELP OF MY LAWYER FRIENDS AND LITTLE CONTACTS I WAS GRANTED BAIL BUT WOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO TRIP FOR THE HOLS(WHICH IS MY FOCAL POINT)

TILL NOW OUT OF 4 CHICS ONLY 1 HAS BEEN SUPPORTIVE, OTHERS ONLY ACCUSE YOU OF NASTY STUFF OR COMPLAIN THAT YOU MESSED UP THE WHOLE XMAS PLAN COS OF GREED AND THE BABE, HONEY, SWEETHART NO BE MY NAME AGAIN.THEY TALK TO ME ANYHOW....MOSTLY ON PHONE (IN FACT NA ME DEY CALL)

so if babe wants to support her bobo cos of circumstances let it be from her soul with gratitude...not laced with nag

sandygurl
NewRocker
Posted: 12/22/2006 7:41:00 AM

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RE: MY BOYFRIEND IS JOBLESS
two words

hmmmm WOW

iyabo
NewRocker
Posted: 12/22/2006 11:42:00 AM

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RE: MY BOYFRIEND IS JOBLESS
Chunky it is in times of need that we find out who are real friends.
E go better. Hold your head up high. Tomorrow is a new day


@30 Baby we talked about this. I promised to stay with you
for better for worse. I am still with you.

Thankyou for the earings I love them very much but not as much as I love you.
Be assured I will never run away with our son...

1

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