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if republicans will have their way...


You have to read these! Can you imagine yourself as the lawyer representing these nutbars?!

Only in America!!!

ANNUAL STELLA AWARDS

It's once again time to review the winners of the annual Stella Awards.
The Stella's are named after 81 year old StellaLiebeck who spilledcoffee on
herself and successfully sued McDonald's.
That case inspired the 'Stella Awards' for the most frivoloussuccessful
lawsuits in theUnited States.

THIS YEAR'S AWARDS GO TO:


5th Place(Tied)

a) Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded$780,000 by a jury ofher peers
after breaking her ankle tripping over atoddler who was
running inside a furniture store. The owners of thestore wereunderstandably
surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving
toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

b) 19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenseswhen
his neighbour ran over his hand with a Honda
Accord. Mr. Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at thewheel of
the car whenhe was trying to steal the hubcaps.

c) Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania wasleaving a house he hadjust
finished robbing by way of the garage. He was
not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door openerwas
malfunctioning. He could not re-enter the house because the door
connecting the houseand garage locked when he pulled it shut. The familywas
on vacation andMr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for 8
days. He subsistedon a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of drydog food.
He sued thehomeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused
him undue mentalanguish. The Jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.


4th Place

Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded$14,500 and
medicalexpenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his
next door neighbour'sBeagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its
owner'sfenced yard. Theaward was less than sought because the jury felt the
dog might have beena little provoked at the time as Mr. Williams, whohad
climbed over thefence into the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with
a pellet gun.

3rd Place
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay AmberCarson of
Lancaster,Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a softdrink and broke
her
coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floorbecause Ms. Carson hadthrown
it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier,during an argument.

2nd Place

Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner ofa Night Club in
aneighbouring city when she fell from the bathroomwindow to the floor and
knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurredwhilst Ms. Walton wastrying
to sneak in the window of the Ladies Room toavoid paying the
$3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 anddental expenses.


***1st Place!!!!!***

This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski ofOklahoma City,Oklahoma.
Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand newWinnebago Motor home. On
his trip home from an OU football game, havingdriven onto the freeway,he set
the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly leftthe driver's seat to
go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee.Not surprisingly theRV left
the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr.Grazinski sued
Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manualthat he could notactually
do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000plus a new Winnebago
Motor home. The company actually changed theirmanuals on the basis ofthis
suit just in case there were any other completemorons buying their
recreational vehicles.


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