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"Not Good Enough To Be Loved"

Not Good Enough To Be Loved I showed you what I felt in my heart way too early.

I showed you what I felt in my heart way too early.
I told you I loved you- much too soon.
You weren't ready to say, 'I love you'
or hear those words from me, yet.
But I was wishing for an everlasting love
on a sliver of new moon.

My dreams of loving you ended that fateful night
as you silently disappeared from my sight.
I loved you for what I saw in your heart.
I loved your sweet shyness from the very start.

I was so afraid to show you what I looked like,
scared to let you see my face.
You said not to worry, you were sure I was beautiful,
and it didn't matter, it was too late, you loved me anyway.

You took those words back that night,
I guess they were just easy for you to say.
And my deepest fears came true, for when you did see my face
you thought I wasn't pretty,
even though you wouldn't come out and say it,
I'm sure that was the case.

Men ask me out every day, they hit on me left and right.
They aren't important to me at all,
because it's you I wish for and dream about
when I fall asleep at night.

I have been hurt so much before in the past,
that I wanted some time to think.
I wanted in my heart to be sure.
But the love you said you had for me-
wasn't strong enough to last or endure.

You changed your mind in one quick instant
and from me you turned away.
I miss you so much,
the pain eats away at me from day to day.

There is so much emptiness
where you used to fill my life.
It's filled now with nothing but sorrow,
And I often pray for no tomorrow.

I opened my delicate heart to you and I bared my soul.
I allowed the very essence that was you to take total control.
Without you now, I just don't want to go on.
And I know for a fact,
you won't even shed a tear for me when I'm gone.

For you my face wasn't special enough to make you smile.
My legs not long, sexy or agile.
My skin is soft and white,
not tan and kissed gently by the sun.

What you looked like really didn't matter to me,
I loved you for what was in your sweet heart.
Even though I found you handsome, that didn't mean much
because in my soul I knew you were the one.

I just loved you so much in an unconditional way,
and now without you on this earth I no longer care to stay.
My lord will forgive me for what I'm going to do.
For only he can see what I'm feeling
and the pain my heart's going through.

What's left for me here is nothing but a life of being alone
No man in my future to love me at night when he comes home.
No future of children to bring joy to my heart,
and to my ears their laughter.
Only loneliness and longing
for what will never be- from here and ever after.
So, as I slip into my final sleep,
I know that my lord will take me soul to keep.

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