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4 Ur Dilite

I recently upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0

Subject: Software problems

I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected child processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources. This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Boys NightOut2.5 and Footie5.3 no longer run and crash the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate Saturday rugby6.3 always fails but Saturday Shopping7.1 runs instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 but un-install doesn't work on this program. Can you
please help?

Dear Joe,
This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Whereas Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its creator to run everything. You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend7.0 as Wife1.0 is not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the system once installed.

Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See in manual under Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors Fees). Having Wife 1.0 installed myself I recommend you keep it installed and deal with the difficulties as best you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them,
you must run the C:\ I APOLOGISE program and avoid attempting to use the 'Esc' key. It may be necessary to run C:\ I APOLOGISE a number of times but hopefully eventually the operating system will return to normal.

Wife 1.0 although a very high maintenance program can be very rewarding. To get
the most out of it consider buying additional software such as Flowers 2.0 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not under any circumstances install Secretary 2.6 with Short Skirt capabilities as this is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly crash. Remember Wife 1.0 is open to unlimited browsing whereas Girlfriend 7.0 most likely operates on Pay-As-You-Go platform.

Best of luck

Tech Support

Three engineers and three accountants traveled by train to a
conference. At the station, the three accountants bought tickets and watched as
the three engineers bought only a single ticket.

"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked an
accountant. "Watch and you'll see, " answered an engineer.

They all boarded the train. The accountants took their respective
seats but all three engineers crammed into a toilet and closed the door
behind them. Shortly after the train departed, the conductor came around
collecting tickets. He knocked on the restroom door and said, "Ticket, please."
The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in
hand. The conductor took it and moved on. The accountants saw this and
agreed it was quite a clever idea. After the conference, the
accountants decided to copy the engineers on the return trip and save
some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they got to
the station, they bought a single ticket for the return trip. To their
astonishment, the engineers did not buy a ticket at all.

"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" said one perplexed

"Watch and you'll see," answered an engineer.

When they boarded the train, the three accountants crammed into a
toilet and the three engineers crammed into another one nearby. The
train departed. Shortly afterward, one of the engineers left his restroom and walked
over to the toilet where the accountants were hiding. He knocked on
the door and said, "Ticket, please."

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