There once was a man who had worked all of his life
and had saved all his money and was a real miser. He
loved money more than just about anything.
One day, he said to his wife, 'When I die, I want you
to take all my money and put it in the casket with me
because I want to take my money into the afterlife.'
He forced her to promise with all her heart that she'd
obey his wish and put all their money in the casket
Well, soon after he died.
His wife sat in the church during the funeral next to
her best friend. When the ceremony was finished, just
before the undertakers got ready to close the casket,
the widow said, 'Wait just a minute!' and she placed a
small box she had with her in her husband's lifeless
The undertakers then locked the casket and rolled it
The woman's friend said, 'Girl, I know you weren't
fool enough to put all your money in there with your
The widow replied, 'Listen, I'm a Christian. I can't
go back on my word. I promised him that I was gonna
put our money in that casket with him and that's what I did.'
'You mean to tell me you put all of your money in that casket?!!'
'I sure did,' said the widow.
'How'd you fit it all in that little box?', asked her friend.
'I wrote him a check.'
Never Underestimate The Intelligence of a Woman.
A police officer pulled over a driver and informed him that
because he was wearing his seat belt, he had just won
$5,000 in a safety competition.
'What are you going to do with the prize money?'
the officer asked.
The man responded, 'I guess I'll go to driving school and
get my license.'
At that moment, his wife, who was seated next to him,
chimed in, 'Officer, don't listen to him. He's a smart
aleck when he's drunk.'
woke up the guy in the back seat, who, when he
saw the cop, blurted out, 'I knew we wouldn't get far in
this stolen car.'
At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and
a voice asked, 'Are we over the border yet?'
A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class
section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and
tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have
a first class ticket. The blonde replies, 'I'm blonde, I'm smart,
I have a good job, and I'm staying in first class until we reach
The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who
asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats
'I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in
first class until we reach Jamaica.' The head stewardesses
doesn't even know what to do at this point because they
still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take
off; the blode is causing a problem with boarding now,
so the stewardess gets the copilot.
The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear.
She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the
coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot in
amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct
seat. The copilot replies, 'I just told her the front half of the
airplane wasn't going to Jamaica.'
This is the story of four people named Everybody, Somebody,
Anybody, and Nobody.
There was an important job to be done and Everybody was
asked to do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.
Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's
job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody
realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. Consequently, it
wound up that Nobody told Anybody, so Everybody blamed